


Solvent for the Tinies

by fog_shadow



Category: GOREY Edward - Works, Gashlycrumb Tinies - Edward Gorey
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Gen, QRV, or pretentious, or something, the Universal Solvent, which sounds silly under the circumstances
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 14:13:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10968891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fog_shadow/pseuds/fog_shadow
Summary: The Gashlycrumbs—Those little ones—Died all so horribly,But such sad woesBefall not thoseSupplied with QRV.Or, 26 uses for the universal solvent that can save your life!





	Solvent for the Tinies

**Author's Note:**

> The Universal Solvent (or QRV) is not among Gorey's best known works. I believe the independent book itself is a pretty exclusive collectors' item, but some excerpts can be found in _Amphigorey Again_ (the fourth Gorey omnibus), and a Google image search along the lines of _qrv gorey_ will turn up several examples.
> 
> Quoted portions are from the Gashlycrumb Tinies, provided here for reference. (A few verses refer at least as much to Gorey's drawing as to his original text: Google image search is yet again your friend . . . if you don't have the entire thing memorized.)

> A is for Annie who fell down the stairs.

For dizzy spells  
Brought on by bells  
And verticality  
It's best to clear  
Your inner ear  
With drops of QRV.

> B is for Basil assaulted by bears.

The savage beast  
May seem the least  
In generosity,  
But you'll find friends  
For any ends  
If you have QRV.

> C is for Clara who wasted away.

When nought excites  
Lost appetites  
And muscles atrophy,  
A supplement  
Of great extent  
You'll find in QRV.

> D is for Desmond thrown out of a sleigh.

In snowy ways  
Still horse-drawn sleighs  
Can stick distressingly.  
Don't throw out weights,  
Just use slick skates  
Well-waxed with QRV.

> E is for Ernest who choked on a peach

Fresh fruit is best  
(There's no contest)  
For eating scrumptiously,  
But lest your snack  
Turn to attack,  
Include some QRV.

> F is for Fanny sucked dry by a leech

Mosquitoes, ticks,  
And leeches fix  
On warm flesh greedily,  
But they've no taste  
For blood that's raced  
Through veins with QRV.

> G is for George smothered under a rug

As carpets old  
Gain dust and mold,  
Their weight can grow by three:  
Turn colors bright  
And fibers light:  
Restore with QRV!

> H is for Hector done in by a thug

In alley doors  
And on the moors  
Rogues lurk in villainy,  
But never fear  
If you have near  
A spray of QRV.

> I is for Ida who drowned in a lake

It quickly heals  
Uneven keels—  
No need of carpentry!  
For best to float  
That tipsy boat,  
Apply some QRV.

> J is for James who took lye by mistake

There's nought to choose  
'Twixt bottle blues  
When glanced at hastily;  
With Green & Pink  
No need to think  
Which phial is QRV.

> K is for Kate who was struck with an axe

When hiding from  
Those bothersome,  
Invisibility  
Is your best chance  
To dodge their glance:  
Use see-through QRV.

> L is for Leo who swallowed some tacks

It toughens skin  
Without, and in  
The thorax' cavity  
Frail tissues bind  
To sturdy rind—  
All thanks to QRV.

> M is for Maud who was swept out to sea

In tempests, storms,  
And other forms  
One may be swept to sea;  
You would do well  
Upon the swell  
By taking QRV.

> N is for Neville who died of ennui

When days are dull  
And you feel full  
Of bogging apathy,  
Revitalize  
Your mind and eyes:  
Your life needs QRV!

> O is for Olive run through with an awl

The sharpest eye  
And limbs most spry  
Depend on rapidly  
Translating news:  
Wise neurons choose  
The Quick in QRV.

> P is for Prue trampled flat in a brawl

An angry soul  
Without control  
Will lash out violently;  
When faced with wrath  
Seek out a bath  
Infused with QRV.

> Q is for Quentin who sank in a mire

Pursuing tons  
Of papillons  
For entomology  
Leads low and high,  
So lure them nigh  
To snare with QRV.

> R is for Rhoda consumed by a fire

For fires fed  
By trees now dead,  
Or electricity,  
Or gas or grease,  
Aim and release  
A jet of QRV.

> S is for Susan who perished of fits

If sudden starts  
Can cause your parts  
From equilibrity,  
Protect your health  
For little wealth  
With daily QRV.

> T is for Titus who flew into bits

It's best to find  
What lurks behind  
Mail sent suspiciously;  
For safety's sake,  
Before you break  
The seal, try QRV.

> U is for Una who slipped down a drain

It lengthens bones,  
Aids muscle tones—  
All this, nutritiously!—  
For growth in girth  
That's full of worth,  
Bulk up with QRV!

> V is for Victor squashed under a train

Some eyes see all  
But others fall  
With lack of clarity  
On sights around;  
When blurs abound  
Grope out your QRV.

> W is for Winnie embedded in ice

In winter's chill  
No human will  
Can stand frigidity;  
Through snow or ice  
There's none so nice  
And warm as QRV.

> X is for Xerxes devoured by mice

It keeps the moths  
From woolen cloths  
And rats and mice from cheese;  
The loathsome roach,  
Too, will reproach  
Homes stocked with QRVs.

> Y is for Yorick whose head was knocked in

For fixing rocks  
Or piles of blocks  
Together solidly  
There is no glue  
Will hold so true:  
For paste, use QRV!

> Z is for Zillah who drank too much gin

To drink but gin  
We find a sin  
Of great depravity:  
For mix or neat  
You cannot beat  
A shot of QRV.


End file.
